2016: A tragic 12 month period in which people dabbed, plastered dog ears on them in order to appear thinner on Snapchat, and a once-infamous reality star became the president-elect of the United States.
A.K.A. 2016 sucked. Let’s narrow it down to the three stages:
Game of Thrones:
Two words: Jon Snow. Or is it Stark? Jon Targaryen? Whatever – point is, this past June in the season six finale of Game of Thrones, that curly-haired muffin top’s parents were finally revealed. And yeah, it made 2016 worth all the shitiness.
On Oct. 14, 1908, in a generation far, far away, the Chicago Cubs won the World Series in Major League Baseball. A time where television didn’t exist, movies were still in black and white, when Justin Bieber’s great great grandparent was just a fetus. Their third didn’t come win until a magical moment in 2016, 108 years in waiting. And the best part? Back To Future was only one year off from predicting their victory.
Memes. I mean, how could we have survived 2016 without memes? We have crooked mirror-watching Kermit the Frog, Obama and Joe Biden welcoming Trump into the White House, and so many more that it’ll make you forget about all the celebrity deaths and terrorist attacks that occurred in these past 12 months.
(Very) Bad Chad of The Bachelorette
He whistles. He eats meet. He talks about liking milk. He is, for all intensive purposes, the evil villain of JoJo’s season of The Bachelorette – and perhaps also the best part. Whether he was making fun of Alex’s limited height or returning to the house for his protein powder after being kicked off, Chad ‘The Real’ Johnson definitely made 2016 a lot more amusing.
Otherwise known as the quickest way to embarrass yourself; because yes, that is Paul Ryan posing for Roger Marshall’s inauguration as the congress representative for Kansas, and yes that is his son, 17-year-old cool-kid Cal, dabbing . . . during his father’s swearing in . . . in front of America . . . enough said.
The Dog Filter
A filter used on the famous social media app ‘Snapchat’, the dog filter is a dog-shaped face that you can scan over your own in order to look thinner, have bigger eyes, and to pout without looking fucking annoying (because dogs pout, right? So it’s okay if you do it with a dog filter on). Either way, it irritates me; and it reminds me of why I hate everyone.
Oh, Donald. My favourite orange cotton-ball. He is – excuse me while I attempt to be respectful – the future president of the United States of ‘Merica. He’s great. He’s going to do a good job. Awesome guy. Totally accepting of everyone. Love it. Love. It.
Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds
Truly the heartbreaking story of Hollywood: Carrie Fisher, mostly known for her role as Princess Leia in the Star Wars franchise, died of a cardiac arrest two days after Christmas. The following day, Oscar-nominated actress and Fisher’s mother Debbie Reynolds, died of a stroke. She allegedly said, “I want to be with Carrie” thirty minutes before her death.
Alan Rickman, boy were you magical. Earlier in the year, the popular British actor died in his London home from cancer. To older generations, they’ll know him from Die Hard and Galaxy Quest, but to the other tragic twenty-year-olds out there, you’ll recognize him as good/evil Professor Snape from the Harry Potter series. ‘Always’, Alan Rickman.
“Under Pressure”, “Let’s Dance”, “Heroes”: These are only a few of the iconic tunes that David Bowie blessed us with in his music career. After releasing his debut album in 1967, Bowie captivated the world with his signature look and chilling vocals. He died in January after a battle with liver cancer.
Known as “Mr. Hockey”, Gordon ‘Gordie’ Howe was a professional hockey player in the time where hockey and Canada were inseparably the same thing. Born in Saskatchewan, Howe quickly moved from a national treasure to an international legend after being drafted to the Detroit Red Wings in 1946. He died at the age of 88 in his son’s home in Ohio.